I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
