we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My feet surprised me
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