Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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