Heybabeimwearingurpanties
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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