K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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