oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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