I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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