Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
