sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
