so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
