Soap is not a condiment
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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