S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
