My sheets look like a crime scene.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
