One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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