I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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