I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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