Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
