Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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