What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
