you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
