We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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