planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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