Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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