So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
