is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
