The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
