Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
