I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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