If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
