used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
