i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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