you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
