Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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