I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
