i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
