i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
