remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
