you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
