Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize
