I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
