I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
