If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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