i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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