Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
