If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
