you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
