he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
