So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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