just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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