Sober January is a disaster.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
