yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
