Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
